It’s been a while.

Hello world!
Well at least hello to anyone who has access to the world wide web.

Not that my presence is widely known on the web but still I like to be polite.
I haven’t been sharing lately because I haven’t really been doing anything new. I’m still at the same job that I don’t like and I’m still just creating on my free time. Somethings I love and somethings…well I practice at least.

Lately I’ve been really into this who watercolor hand lettering thing. Who hasn’t it’s beautiful. (These are a couple of ones I’ve tried. I might need better watercolor, suggestions are super appreciated.)
JenandMichael

Screen Shot 2016-08-26 at 11.43.37 AMAndifnotIamnotcommon

I like watercolor but am not so confident to say that I am at all any good at it. Screen Shot 2016-08-26 at 12.09.20 PM

See I’m just experimenting and I keep forgetting that there are different techniques other than just putting watercolor on paper. I wish I took a watercolor class. Seriously.

I can honestly say that my graphic design game is not on point. I just don’t know what to design. I have ideas….but that is all that they are. I guess that isn’t an excuse. I really love designing but what if professionally I’m just not good enough? That is the question I’ve been asking of myself a lot lately….I think it might be destroying me just a bit.

 

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1 Kings 12 and 13

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Sometimes it is just good to sit down and write/draw. Today I was reading 1 Kings 12 and 13 and decided that I should write down the story and what I thought was important. Here is what I got from it.

#1. Show mercy, compassion and love. The elders knew that giving the Israelites a break, or even a little rest would show them that the king actually cares about them. The Men just thought ruling with an iron fist would be better. But clearly it wasn’t. Also this brings up a good point..maybe you should listen to the people that have experience with giving advice and giving thought about a subject rather than your buddies or your own generation.

#2. Fear God, show him respect follow him and you don’t have to worry. Jeroboam was afraid that he would lose his people because the people would have to travel to Jerusalem to make offerings to God. So he decided to do what he thought was right (?) He built golden calves. (I was like really haven’t you guys learned? and then realized that although we may not have golden calves to worship today there are things in my life that I should probably learn from too)

#3. Don’t get mad at the messenger. The man of God that came was just telling King Jeroboam something he probably knew deep down in his heart. and yet he was going to have him arrested. Suddenly his arm shriveled up. can you even begin to imagine that?

#4. When God tells you something. Listen to him. Even if some random man comes up to you and tells you God told him something different. To me, at first, it seemed like it was wrong that the man got punished for the old prophet lying to him. But quickly I remembered “Trust God, not man.” It’s hard to think that God would look down and say “Hey I told you NOT to eat on the path and I know that this guy lied to you but I TOLD YOU NOT TO so now you will be punished.” but at the same we all have to remember people are liars. I know you are all probably good people but we all have lied and that makes us liars. God doesn’t. Plain and simple. Trust in him. ONLY him.

I really like writing notes and I love looking at other peoples.

I Miss This

Dear readers,
I have realized that I am really sucking at posting lately. I tried really hard to force myself to write everyday but that was literally just making me feel terrible when I realized I hadn’t post anything in the last couple of days. You see I was reading a book Show Your Work by Austin Kleon and it says to get your work out there you need to post as often as you can and to show people what you have been working on….well since I hadnt really been workig on anything I didnt really know what to write about. And I was seriously feeling so useless and very much like a failure. Turns out that is what happens when you have a love of something and you aren’t pursuing it like you should be. But luckily my time at least at the moment has been focused on reaching out and finding a graphic design job. I also decided to make an idea I had about 4 years ago a reality. So it will either be super cool or super lame but I’ll probably love it anyways.

My little poster (I don’t know what else to call it at the moment) is about the idea of the unseen world. But in the way a kid maybe would believe it. Here is one of my characters, She’s based off a girl that I know that is basically, to me, the epitome of childhood and having fun.

Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 10.52.13 AMAnd then on the other hand you have this creature and he isn’t completely developed yet and not as ugly as he’s gonna be hopefully.

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That is one of the projects that I have been working on…just a little bit of something I want to do rather than something that I should be doing. My little monster guy is something I’m just a little proud of considering that he’s a sketch that I started while on lunch from my job (I don’t really know why or how that makes him special to me….it just does. I think there is a possibility that I have the sketch on here somewhere….Yup here it is. This one is actually the second sketch. Awwwwww isn’t he just the cutest and somewhat no. I imagine him being super smelly for some reason and kind of like the mucus guy from those commercials but somehow more gross.  Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 11.02.20 AM

The other one I have been working on hasn’t been so unlike me. It started out when I was in college, I went to a wedding and the minister was talking about how we invite people to weddings so that we have witnesses so that if one of the people get out of line in their marriages all (or some) of the witnesses can say, “I was there, I witnessed your vows and I know what you both promised watch other. Now, knock it off.” So I had always just wanted to do an invitation where instead of it saying the same ole stuff it asked the person to witness the marriage of two people So this is what I can up with. Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 11.11.55 AM

Remember that this is not even (in my opinion) close to being done. But I’m trying some new things out. Screen Shot 2015-03-03 at 11.16.23 AM

I’m a fan of the colors and I’m working on some effects I guess. I’m excited about these. I really really am.

All right so t has been a frozen tundra outside and even right now as I type the snow is falling. It’s really cold and I have not had time or been able to go and take pictures like I’d like in a while but here are some that I have taken. By the way did I mention that I have a niece now a days. Her name is Emma she’s probably the cutest kid in the world but who knows I could be just a little bias.

IMG_3674 IMG_3675 16104232651_95b4978fca_o 15920395857_916dc80ee3_o 15918288408_4cbcbaec4a_oSee. She’s super cute right? I think so. No, no, no, I know so.

So there’s an update and I really really like to write and talk and be open about my passion so I’m hoping to be able to do that again. Real soon.

-Jenn Jenn

p.s. If you ever need a design or photography let me know email me visit my Facebook page.  I would love to work with you.

Day 1- Just draw something.

Today was just about putting something down on paper and all that I could think about was leaves, branches, and patterns. It definitely is a sketch and a minimal one at that. Another thing I learned today is that I need to spend way more time than 10 mins on a sketch. Otherwise I won’t get better.  So This is day 1 I like to believe that going through this will help me better to sketch, think creatively and to just spend time everyday to work at getting better.

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Wow, I haven’t typed, wrote, thought, in a while. So I have decided to change that. I need to be able to get out of my little comfort space and to draw a lot more than I do. I saw a chart of how some famous artist spent their days. Now I’m not saying that I want to have fame or anything. But I want to be as creative as I can because I feel the best creating things. You can find the chart here. Any ways I have chosen for at least the next 31 days I am going to do an art journal and will be posting them here everyday. If I fail I’ll be so mad at myself like you can’t believe. I haven’t decided if I was going to use a lined journal or not. But the first post will be tonight. Stay Tuned.

Take Note

Ever since I was in middle school I have had a love for letters, I would draw them, trace them and find different fonts and admire how people came up with them. In college I realized that typography was probably my favorite class and that giving a word a different meaning by using designs is challenging but fun. Seeing others use typography is inspiring. Although just because I really like it doesn’t mean I am super good at it but I’m working on it. Anyways I also really like taking notes. Wether in class, while reading, or at church. Here are some of my notes from sermons at my church.
2014-12-01 23.59.43 2014-12-02 00.00.18 2014-12-02 00.00.24 2014-12-02 00.00.31 2014-12-02 00.00.34  2014-12-02 00.00.08 2014-12-01 23.59.502014-12-02 00.00.002014-12-02 00.00.11
I also have some from college but I could find my note book. By the way does anyone know of a brand that sells a journal sized non-lined spiral bound book because I have been looking and can’t find them. I have a lot of fun taking notes and you know they aren’t grand or anything but I remember better when I have to think about it longer and I just really get a lot more out of doing it this way than just taking regular notes.

I have also been working on hand lettering stuff. Here are two I’ve done and are working on….remember they aren’t as good as I’d really like them to be but I’m trying to get better and the only way to get better is practice, right?

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2014-12-02 00.04.55 2014-12-02 00.04.43

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This Moment

At this very moment I feel defeated. I feel as though I will never reach my goal of being a graphic designer and that absolutely crushes me right now. I want to curl up in a little ball and cry for hours because there is a voice in my head telling me that I will never be good enough. Laughing at me, this very moment.

But you know what, it will pass. I will get up and send more resumes, I will hear back from barely any. But I will move on and keep trying. Beyond this instant I will forget all about this and continue on.
After all, its only a moment.

Bubbly letters

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You should always try doing something new. I have been sitting around my house for a couple of days. Ya know thats what happens to the jobless sometimes. But I also have things to do. I was working on editing some pictures but then I got a little bored with that so I decided to clean my room. Always a good thing to do if you ask me. But then I did something unexpected. I took some foam board (did you know they sell foam board at the dollar store now? I totally could have saved a lot of money in college with that knowledge.) and painted some signs I have been working on for my sister-in-laws baby showers. It wasn’t gonna be anything fancy just something to point people to the building. But me being who I am had an idea. Granted, they aren’t super amazing. But can I just say I kind of loved painting letters freehand….and a ruler because I didn’t have painter’s tape.

First, I got my hands dirty. I’m a tactile person and so that was just absolutely fantastic. =]
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The theme is this super cute elephant and butterflies. So  I  have been thinking about this…

20140923_232028Because everyone knows that butterflies are sparkly and have glitter on them, literally everyone knows that. But then again I hear the voices in my head saying,”Real graphic designers don’t use glitter.” I don’t know about you but….I really like sparkly things and I use glitter a lot in my craft life…not so much on a serious design project but still. I haven’t made up my mind about that yet.

Here is how it turned out. Without glitter. but still super cute and gets the job done.

20140923_234648Yes my sister-in-laws name is the same as mine. In case you didn’t notice. hah. It is a fun fact I like to share in those little awkward circles in group building.

This is HARD.

The first step is always the hardest. The one that gets things moving, the one that takes every ounce of your strength. It’s so easy, but it is also so difficult and it is right there. Right in front of you. But there are things pushing against you. Lack of experience, and lack of knowledge are just a few. So try as you might the first step is so hard. I remember everyone always saying, “If it isn’t difficult, it’s probably not worth it.”

Trying to find my first professional job is hard. For the last two weeks I have been putting out job applications and resumes like it is nobodies business. But as sad as I am to admit this, I have hit a wall. Not a little wall that I can break through with just a little more force in my punch but a huge wall. A wall that for some reason makes me feel hopeless, like not even a bull dozer could push over. This wall, as imaginary as it might be…is holding me back. I now fear that I am not good enough, or that I went to college for nothing. Little whispers in my head telling me that I’ll be stuck living with my parents forever working little jobs until I am either bored of them or cannot stand them because it isn’t my passion. I am on the verge of giving up. Being done with this little adventure I had in the world that I so want to be apart of.

Just so everyone knows….that is not me. I am not someone who can be held back by a wall. I go after what I want. I make my dreams happen because my parents always taught me to never give up and the follow those dreams even….no especially if they seem impossible. Plus there is such satisfaction when you reach your goal and can make new ones.

This wall, as intimidating as it is, will fall down soon….because I am going to knock it down. But then it starts again, when the walls fall down taking that first step again is hard. So then why do I stop in the first place.

Sometimes I need to stop because I need to realize if it is worth it. Is it worth it to keep putting myself out there and not hear back. Is it worth the fear that you might not have enough money to pay your loans because you haven’t found the job that you expected by now. Is it worth the failure you might feel when nothing comes up even after submitting what seems like thousands of resumes. See, thats how you know if your dreams and goals are important to you, are you willing to feel disappointed, and rejected until you finally get that break?

Right now I am hanging on to some things right now, first that my God is good and he knows what he is doing, where ever I end up it will be because that is what I am supposed to be doing. Second, the words of my Dad, “I am confident that once these people can see what you can do, you’ll absolutely make it. Third, I am not a quitter, and I believe in abilities that I have.

So in conclusion, I am having a difficult time with this whole job hunting thing….but I have a family that supports me, a God that loves me, and I am confident in my work and what I have been taught. I will not give up. But sometimes it feels like you cannot move forward and that’s okay. As long as you realize the importance of what you are doing. It might be hard, but it will be totally worth it.

1 week.

Today marks the day…In one week I will officially be jobless. It’s kind of scary but also kind of freeing. On one hand I can try with 100% of my effort to get a job that I will really look forward to. On the other hand, I will have no job and zero money coming in isn’t good when you mountains of student debt. But I can’t help feeling that something big is going to happen. Whether that means that I stay here and default on my loans but find the meaning of life or move away and get my dream job I have no idea. But I know it’s gonna be big….or I’m just crazy and my whole “feeling” thing is broken. Which I could accept. It’s interesting getting old. I’ll leave it at that. Anyways back to having to find a job, it is normal to be this nervous right? To try to find a professional job. I’m going a little crazy no worries though I’ll be sane eventually….oh, wait. Isn’t being a little insane the burden of an artist? 

 

Right now I have been working on a couple of projects. The first one is a branding idea that I have been in the middle of. There is always a logo that can be re-vamped. Altered to be exactly what a program, business, or organization is or has become. Anyways I hope to have a whole identity package done as well as a new webpage and brochure. I need more of those types of pieces anyways. 

Screen Shot 2014-08-22 at 10.17.59 PMIt’s not the whole thing just the front of the brochure. But I’m excited to work the rest of this out considering that I haven’t done one of these in a long time.

The next thing is a side project working on creating a baby shower invite for my brother and sister in law. Because when you have a sister who is a graphic designer than all your invitations are free. (People DO NOT misuse this power and Yes, it is a power.) Not that my lovely siblings are misusing the powers cause they aren’t just a friendly reminder. 

Screen Shot 2014-08-22 at 9.53.36 PMCute little elephant with a double chin…haha. I am finding the love in designing again. It’s hard work but I can not even remember why I was so jaded and annoyed with it. I’m sure a 40+ hour a week job would remind me but I don’t want to lose this. It is something that I love and it’s worth the time and effort I put into it.